You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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