I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
