You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
