smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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