I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
