i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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