The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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