Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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