Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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