Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
