He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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