Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
