...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
