am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
