remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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