Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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