i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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