are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
