I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
