You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
