Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
