nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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