Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
