that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
