"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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