Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
