your parents love me but you hate me
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
