I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
