If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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