It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Drunk is not a location!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
