he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
