Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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