Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
