I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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