Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
