I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
