I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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