its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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