I don't think brook has ever known best
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
