you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
