her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
