He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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