It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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