Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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