why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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