He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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