Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
