I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
