I wish my penis had an off switch
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize