she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
