My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You took a bar mat shot.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
