i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
