i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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