I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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