"it" just moved
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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