before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
