Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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