Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
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By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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