i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
