Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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