Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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