ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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