If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize